College Planning

How to Say Goodbye to your Child on College Move In Day

“Helicopter parents have gone Velcro,” says Margery Eagan in her Boston Herald column.   “Now they’re attaching themselves to their college freshmen’s dorm rooms.”

 

Ms. Eagan’s article notes that at colleges across the country, super-involved parents are having a hard time saying goodbye to their children, and some even linger around campus for days.  As a result, many institutions are implementing activities that facilitate the separation.

 

According to a New York Times report, Morehouse College in Atlanta performs a formal “Parting Ceremony,” with speeches in the Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel, followed by a march of incoming freshmen through the gates of the campus, which swung shut, leaving the parents outside.

 

At Grinnell College everyone gathers in the gymnasium, students on one side of the bleachers, parents on the other.  The president welcoming the new class has his back to the parents — a symbolic gesture meant to inspire “an aha! moment,” said Houston Dougharty, vice president of student affairs, “an epiphany where parents realize, ‘My student is feeling more comfortable sitting with 400 people they just met.’ ” 

 

Parental separation anxiety is a reflection of modern child rearing.  “A good deal of it has to do with the evolution of over-involvement in our students’ lives,” said Mr. Dougharty of Grinnell. “These are the baby-on-board parents, highly invested in their students’ success. They do a lot of living vicariously, and this is one manifestation of that.”

 

Officials encourage parents to detach — not just on move in day, but throughout the first year, including limiting phone calls and text messages.  As one parent (who is a kindergarten teacher) put it, “Say goodbye and just leave, because the kids calm down.”

 

 

Image courtesy of sienacommunications at Flickr  

Every Family Needs a Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer, and College Financial Planner

I meet with the parents of future college students all the time and most of them share similar anxieties. As one of my clients confessed, “I feared I had saved too little, too late and college was unaffordable.”

It’s a common concern.  And it’s an understandable one, too.  Afterall, being able to afford a child’s education may mean the difference between sending your child off to college or not.  But there are lots of mistakes that parents can avoid that will help increase their ability to pay for college.  For example, did you know that 90 percent of the forms submitted to apply for financial aid have errors or inconsistencies?  Did you realize that many parents don’t understand which colleges provide the best financial aid packages?  And sadly, many parents put themselves at a disadvantage because they don’t recognize the difference between includable and non-includable assets when submitting their FAFSA or CSS Profile.

When you need medical attention, you visit a doctor.  When you need legal advice, you hire an attorney.  So when you need help navigating the mystifying world of college financing and application process, find a professional with the expertise to help.

That same client later said to me, “As safeguards, every family should have a doctor, dentist, lawyer and someone like you.”

Photo by quinn.anya via Flickr.

Five Mistakes Parents Make When Paying for College

I recently had a conversation with a parent whose son just graduated from University of Michigan. This is a great school, no doubt, and by all accounts this young man has a terrific future ahead of him. The father was proud of his son’s achievement, with good reason, and also very pleased that he had graduated with $10,000 in the bank and no debt. Unusual? Sure. But not so surprising when you consider that in the next breath, the father admitted that he and his wife had paid for his four years of university expenses and were $160,000 in the hole.

If only I had the chance to speak to this father years ago – it's likely that he might have been able to trim his debt substantially with a little planning, guidance, and forethought.

In my 27 years as a college planning advisor, here are five of the most common mistakes that I have seen parents make when determining how to pay for college:

1.    Not working with a professional who can shepherd them through the financial aid process
2.    Not understanding the difference between reportable assets and non-reportable assets
3.    Waiting until January of a child’s senior year to look at financial aid forms
4.    Assuming financial aid is impossible to get
5.    Not knowing the financial aid policies of the schools they are applying to

All parents want the best for their children.  They want them to succeed, achieve, and flourish – and many are willing to sacrifice their own financial security in order to do so.  But the truth is, sometimes they are giving up more than they should, or need to.  With a little planning, most parents need not go broke to pay for a child’s college education.  With the right information, many parents can find ways to protect their assets, reduce their debt, and lighten the financial load of college.

 

Photo by Jeremy Bronson via Flickr.

There’s Still Time for a College Road Trip This Summer

It’s summer, the time of weekend getaways, suntans and college tours. Yes, that’s right, summer is a great time to take a road trip and combine a college visit with the joy of a family vacation. It makes so much sense. After all, why not visit a college campus when the crowds have thinned out and you might be able to wander down the ivory tower halls at your leisure?

You still have a few weeks left of summer to pull together a family trip that includes a visit to a university campus along with some local sightseeing. For example, if your son or daughter is interested in visiting Georgetown University you can also check out the new Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial or the museums and zoo of the Smithsonian Institution.

Or, if your soon-to-be-college-student is considering Fordham or NYU, plan to explore the sights of the Big Apple (Times Square, Ellis Island and NBC Studios) while you’re there. This gives your trip greater significance, creates lasting memories and knits you and your child together in a whole new way.

The key with any trip is planning. Most colleges and universities offer group tours in the summer months, even though school is not in session. This is also a good time to arrange an interview with a college admissions officer. So visit your favorite college website and start making your arrangements today.

Photo courtesy of mbell1975 on Flickr.